Sitting Pretty in a Male Dominated Industry
The do’s and don’ts of mentoring young women into brilliant brokers.
In honor of Women’s History Month, I wanted to shed light on one of the biggest obstacles facing my female peers in this male dominated industry. Don’t worry boys! I’m not spotlighting the “butt-brushers” with a #MeToo exposé, or handing out an award for the highly skilled “man-splainers” (you’re off the hook, for now). No, I’m talking about woman on woman crime—consider this a call to action for my fellow super-women who ignore that fabled glass ceiling and slay the day anyway, “butt-brushers” be damned.
While I’m sure many women expect and are maybe even prepared to navigate the tired pick-up lines, sexual innuendos, and a fear of not being taken seriously by our male counterparts (something most of us *women* experience on an all too regular basis in the work place…I know I know, I said this wasn’t a #MeToo piece)—unfortunately, other women often present a more unforeseen threat to each other. Whether it be catty comments on each other’s looks, unfounded judgement of one’s personal life, or relationship circumstances, etc. I know that I wasn’t prepared for the way women would treat me as a young broker.
To be candid, 15 years later, I am still surprised when a female colleague ignores my emails but is quick to back channel with my male business partner. Rather than tear each other down, or pretend we don’t exist to one another, I would encourage those after us to communicate openly and honestly, to be confident in their knowledge, and ability to get the job done—and of course, to show up wearing whatever makes them feel like an absolute boss, because the height of our heels is not a measurement of our success. Our femininity and kindness should not be confused with weakness or inadequacy.
We are stronger in numbers, ladies, lighting the light of another doesn’t dim your own. If we meet each other with guidance, support, and kindness, surely, we can elevate more of us to do the same. My success is yours, and vice versa. My point here is ultimately of the philosophy that a “rising tide lifts all boats.” There is an established culture of mentorship amongst our male colleagues, which provides significant opportunity for personal and professional growth, so should #WeToo.
The Don’ts
The Do’s
Make assumptions on how they earned their position
Compare their career to yours and set their growth expectations based on your own
Undermine their stance and seek out a different response from a superior
Be condescending and tell them how to do their job
Overcompensate by being an asshole for not being able to pee standing up
Suggest the way they look will negatively affect their business
Encourage women to join our industry
Ask how you can support them in their growth, monthly coffee, cocktails, group meet-ups, etc.?
Respect their opinion and approach
Thank them for their time and input
Embrace a feminine approach
Compliment their outfit, hair, bag, etc